Raining Intimidation

Intimidation. It is something that I felt like crazy today. I am not really sure why though. I was just looking at a bunch of stuff online today and some things that I get to do when I get home and such, and I just felt very intimidated. It is an odd feeling because usually, I am head strong enough to not have that issue. Anxiety...perhaps sometimes. Stress...not likely but possible. But to feel absolutely intimidated by things and people is something new all together. You would think that moving up to New York City by myself, living here, and being successful here would provide me with a tough enough skin that I shouldn't have to worry about such things anymore. But none the less, I have that nervous feeling in my shoulder (it is equal to butterflies in your stomach, only it happens in my right shoulder), and I felt like I was lowly, compared to different people and things. I know I am being quite vague, but I would rather be vague right now. I am just going to have to learn to tough it up and be myself. I am a strong person, there isn't any doubt about it. Although I have allowed myself to soften a lot and further grow up into the guy that I know I should be, I still have areas, but don't we all? It's alright though.
Can I tell you the most fun thing that I have done in weeks? Sunday night, after service, there was a group of us hanging out in our building and it was pouring down rain. It hasn't poured like that since I have been here. And on an impulse, we all ended up outside in the alley between our building and the church, standing in the pouring rain, dumping buckets of water on each other, and basically acting like we were 12 years old. There was just something incredibly freeing about it. For an hour or so, 10 twenty-somethings played in the rain, in the middle of midtown Manhattan, in the middle of the night. Just letting yourself go and have a good time and dance and yell and get soaked to the core...it was amazing. It was the kind of experience people talk about, but very few actually allow themselves to step outside of their roles as "grown ups" and be free. Being free is the best way to be.